Sadie had her green cast taken off on Monday, only to have straps attached to it and it is back on. She is able to sleep at night without the cast and once again has some ankle exercises to do. Today we went back to Children's to get the brace (wasn't there on Monday) and then off to get new shoes. The shoes were interesting - this brace adds quite a bit of "bulk" to her shoe so her choices were limited - add to that the lift can only be put on certain kinds of soles - limited even more. Her shoes are cute (she has even owned the same kind previously), but I think she didn't feel she had much control over the choice and she was disappointed. We took them in to have the lift on and the shoe should be ready on Saturday. At that point - she gets to ditch the cast - YEAH!
I know that I shouldn't feel the way I do, but I am still struggling with this "lift" issue. I know it is my own insecurities not hers. She is fine with it and really hasn't batted an eye, but I have put up a fight on this issue for quite some time and as silly as it seems, I feel defeated. I know she needs it... her hips are so out of balance and further you can see the result in her lower spine. So, it is what it is, but for now... to myself and to you all who read... I don't have to like it.
We have so many choices to make - Monday she goes to Bastyr and the following Monday to Children's. I wish I had a crystal ball... just to know... if the choices we are making are the right ones. There is SO much information to take in and it just gets overwhelming.
I saw and Enbrel commercial tonight... almost made me cry. You know the list of side affects on those drug commercials. I know I have listened to them and laughed before, thinking "who would take this stuff with all those possible side affects" (of course that not in regard to this medication). This time hearing it and knowing the choices we are faced with - well, it just hit home.
Beyond that Sadie is just tired, pale and looks worn out. She is still being her bubbly self and honestly I don’t know how she does it. I hate all these medications, I hate this disease, I hate that it has its hold on her! I tell you, she is one strong cookie, I am amazed… I don’t feel half as strong as she is!
Please pray for this to go into remission. All of us need a break from this! Thank you!
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