September 28, 2006

When I put together this site a little over a year ago; I had no idea what was ahead. In the past years Sadie would have a minor flare up here and there, but for the most part if was a bump in the road... we got over the bump and moved on. Lived life as if Arthritis wasn't really a factor, with the exception of the medication and physical therapy. Today however, we are still climbing a mountain, a hike we expected to only be a short trip. Some days it feels like the weather on this climb turns unexpectadly and we get caught in a heavy rain storm without any warning. Other times we feel an overwhelming desire to push with all we have to get to the top, but then there are days where the climb has wore us out. Sadie by far gets the worst of this, but you may not have even noticed.. she is the strongest person I have ever known. She often will look at the mountain and say "aw, it isn't that much further to climb!" and rarely, but sometimes will say "can we just camp here for the night?". Some of what I am learning on this climb is that every peak and valley holds a different experience and that each of our family members have a way of experiencing this climb in their own unique way. Amazing to think... we all started the climb together, but our perception and experience even when hand and hand are each their own.
This story below "WELCOME TO HOLLAD" has touched me in an amazing way! I hope you will enjoy it.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
byEmily Perl Kingsley.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.